• Get woken up sometime early in the morning to some wack rooster that crows every 10 seconds. Literally. 
• Couldn’t take it anymore after 2 hours so I just decided to get up and get ready. 
• Breakfasting and then back to the cabin for devos.
• I wanted to do devos outside by the creek but it was too cold. :(
• Session 2! (more below)
• no workshops because we ran outta time
• Talked with Eugenia at lunch. It definitely gave me a new perspective on “dating”
• Eugenia decided to ditch me for the pastors table lololol. It’s ok, I just chilled with Isabel after. We took a walk, “explored” the creek, and other stuff. I found a bunch of picks on the ground and then we gave it away. I found out later that those picks were Sam’s…………….sorry?
• It was basically free time after lunch because alot of people were gone for paint-balling/rock-climbing/ziplining/etc. DUDE. Ok so I wanted to go paint-balling but a couple days before retreat, Iris told everyone that too many people are interested so chances of someone getting to go paint-balling were few. So I was like…well ok I guess I won’t go. I want these middle schoolers to get the best experience out of their first winter retreat. So I didn’t bother to sign up. And then like 5 minutes before they go, someone announces that there are extra slots for the second round. -________________- I didn’t end up going. But it was ok actually because I got to take a nice long shower and eat/talk with my cabin mates +Vivian+Katherine for the entire afternoon. They were touching me and examining my body……………………………………
• After break there was game time! SILVER4THEWIN lolololol I was kind of worried about the spirit of our team at first because it was mostly freshman and middle schoolers (as was the rest of the teams) and me and Josh Pi were supposed to get them pumped up or whatever. What I found out that works is just scream alot. LOL. By the end of the entire thing, we were so pumped up, all of us was hollering our heads off. Our team cheer was pretty simple: “Silver for, for the win- we’re better than, than Jeremy Lin!” There were some pretty shy folks on my team but it was pretty cool cuz they trusted me and let me paint silver paint on their faces. :D Anyways, we won half our games. The fear factor one was so nasty though. Like I shoved it into my mouth and then spit it out right after and then later, I find out that it was just crushed wafers and some soda mixed. LOL Talk about mental strength…..ANYWAYS, I got lucky this year for the chair game and had Chris next to me. HIS HANDS ARE HUGE. But at least he didn’t try to get me out. :D I think my fingers almost fell off again but it was better than before when I was playing against Kyle and Josiah…I really wish I got a whistle…I don’t think ive ever yelled so much. It felt good though, get that stress of my chest. (lol do you see what I did there?)
• After games was dinner. I went late though because this poor kid got hit in the eye with candy when they were tossing it out and the lens in his glasses popped out and hit him. D: I was sitting right behind him when it happened and he was only in middle school. HE WAS SO BRAVE NO JOKE. He was pretty chill about it. His brother was on my team and he was super sweet to him. THEY WERE SO ADORABLEEEEEEE. Ok anyways. Yeah, Iris’s boyfriend is actually a doctor (in training?) and I saw some hands on action right there. LOOOL Me: “IRIS, thank goodness we found you! You’re a certified nurse now right?” Iris: “Yeah…Im just going to step back and let him do his thing.” LOL So yeah, he didn’t really need my help anymore afterwards because he got his bro and so I just kind of wandered around looking for a spot….I think I ended up sitting with Vivian and others? 
• After that was Session 3 with Troy Marshall (more below). I see some friends, walk up, John asks me if I “know” and then all of a sudden Chloe runs away screaming. 0_0 So confused. I never found out what it was about. I got those old feelings again-the ones I first felt when I entered youth (Vivian knows what im talking about) and so I just kind of left everyone and walked around by myself. The stars were gorgeous that night. Then I got back, and I happened to pass by the gazebo where the counselors were having their meeting and I hear all this praying and I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit just by standing outside the door and asdfgdsbgfgndfgfdgn. So yeah, prayed for stuff on the side and then after everyone went in, I went in to find a seat. The seats were all filled up so I kinda just stood there in the back lol. Ryan saw me and he was by himself too and he was like: “Wanna be loner buddies?” AND BAM. To this day, we are left-handed loner buddies yeeeeeeeeee. lul But yeah we had crazy awesome worship and when P.Quoc was introducing Troy Marshall, we looked at each other and we were like: “This is gonna be geewwwwdddd.” And it was. Time flew by and next thing you know it’s the alter call. At that point in time, Iris’s/Pangela’s words were ringing in my head: “The time at winter retreat is for you to serve.” And so yadayada me and Gigi got dem chairs a moving and it was kind of intense because people were already falling down asfghjklkjhgfdsdfghjk. IT WAS TOO GOOD. God is good. 
• I feel like this deserved it’s own bullet point. It really touched my heart. Ok so there’s this kid that was always kind of cocky/mean and I had to make a effort not to snap at him and he was getting worse and worse. And like in the middle of worship, he finds me in the back with such a serious face (he’s never serious) and he was basically saying how sorry he was for the way he’s been treating me and he looked so….changed. Idk how else to describe it. He came to me, sincere and humble and sadfghjgfds I was so happy because I know that God’s already changing him from the inside out into a better person. But yeah, ofc I forgave him and gave him a hug too because he looked like he was about to cry. I WAS ABOUT TO CRY TOO THATS HOW TOUCHED I WAS.
• At most parts, I was by myself in the back. And I could kind of witness the Holy Spirit moving and it was so crazy like a bunch of people were all falling down at the same time and there was crying and laughing and passionate worship and I just hope and pray that this passion and hunger and fire wont ever end, but continue to grow so much more. <-that was one longgg sentence. But seriously, I could go on and on and on about this.
• It ended too early. (ok well realistically, it ended late but still) LOL EUGENIA TAUGHT ME HOW TO SWING DANCE. Major props to the worship team. :D teehee stayed behind to clean up and I got to appear on the big screen! 
• insert rant post here regarding the “leadership” team 
• ok sorry I know some of you guys might see this but forreals now. 
• VIVIAN KNOWS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT
• ANYWAYS. It was fun. I was super thirsty from all the yelling and worship but Sam shoved a cutie into my mouth and I felt somewhat better. 
• Afterwards, people went to go socialize but idk I was feeling left out and antisocial again. IT WAS OK THOUGH. Because I ran into this girl from my game team and she looked lonely and I walked her back to her cabin (she lived in the one far far away) and we talked and it was pretty nice getting to know her. :) Too bad she lives in like Union City :(
• lul bumped into Theresa’s dad and their cute dog when I was walking by myself and we talked too. ^ ^ Sometimes, I find adults better company that people my age. Strike that, alot of the times. I remember being friends with more parents than their actual kids when I first came to youth. I don’t think people realize how much our youth group depends on dedicated parent volunteers. Thanks guys. <3
• Went to the campfire and had a nice long talk with Margie. :’) We were talking about some stuff and she prayed for me and it felt so nice having someone listen to my problems for once. (NOT THAT YOU DON’T VIVIAN DARLING)
• I decided to be a good child for once and go back to my cabin like the counselors told us to. And im glad I did! I heard later that people got into trouble for being too loud and some leaders were pretty ticked. But then Chris ofc couldn’t go to sleep without saying gnight to his girls, so he came to bother us. DAYANG CHRIS YOU LADIES MAN ;) 
• After a cabin meeting, I got ready for bed. I wanted to go out to the creek but I didn’t want to get in trouble and people were already asking where I was going and following me so I turned around and went back to the cabin. -__-
• I left out alot of stuff, mostly because I couldn’t remember all of them lol. 

SESSION 2 - Tony Kim

• “Where you focus is where you go.”
• Survival is the world’s language. But we are not of the world. We are of God. 
• When you worship, you are ministering to God.
• Everytime you give a testimony, the Holy Spirit is released. Your testimony carries the Holy Spirit and so regardless of how irrelevant your testimony feels, God can still use it to impact someone else. WHICH IS WHY Y’ALL SHOULD SEND IN YOUR TESTIMONIES TO: estherdabomb@hotmail.com 
• The very areas the enemy is attacking you in, is the very area God is calling you to. Any negative things the devil throws at you, God takes it and uses it for good. So basically, it’s like the positive version of your area of attack. Ex. If you struggle with thoughts of depression and suicide, God is calling you to minister to others who are struggling with thoughts of depression and suicide. You need to get over those attacks first though, otherwise it would just be the blind leading the blind. 
• I think I mentioned this before, but i’m saying it again because it’s an awesome reminder. The devil tempts you with what you already have. You have your inheritance from God! Think back to when Jesus was in the desert for 40 days in Matthew 4. The devil was tempting him with stuff he already had. I mean, c’mon Jesus is the son of God! 

SESSION 3 - Troy Marshall

• “Many times you won’t break relationship with God, but you’ll break fellowship.” 
• The different levels of Christianity:
• Level #1: “Come & See” - It’s all about the consumer mentality. 
• Level #2: “Follow Me” - When you follow God, he won’t give you a map. He will give you a compass and what you have to do, is just trust the direction he points you to. You get the motion sensor version- you move-he moves. you stop-he stops. If you follow him, you should always be moving forward in your life. 
• Level #3: “Highest Level” - man this was crazy. He told us a true story about a friend of his that was infertile/had a girl miraculously/ baby died of cancer/later found out that babies cannot develop cancer that quickly, but in fact the baby formed around the cancer in the womb. If it were not for the baby, the woman would have died. The baby saved her life. ASDFGHJKL THIS WAS SO OUT OF THIS WORLD.  Alot of things in life are bigger than what we understand, but you gotta keep following them.